I can't discuss much about it because I tend to start hyperventilating, crying, and generally feeling like my world is ending. But, he IS five now. Not sure how it happened, or where the years went. But it did, they are gone, and he is *gulp* ready for kindergarten.
Since I am having this much trouble with it now, I can only imagine what I will be like this Fall. I can ONLY imagine it. Actually thinking about it makes me want to vomit. He can't be so grown up already!
Of course, on Monday, he thought he could just go right into kindergarten. Once I explained that, even though he IS five now, he had to wait until the Fall to go, he was pretty disheartened. I lifted his spirits by promising him a visit to the school this week, knowing I had his kindergarten screening scheduled for today. He was excited all week.
Of course, this morning had to be the morning we woke up late. So, as I rushed to get Brady fed, dressed and ready for school while throwing on my own clothes and rushing out of the door to get him to school on time, I COMPLETELY spaced the screening this morning. It dawned on me as I was walking back home that I had to be back at the school in 10 minutes with Bryce. I started running. I think I may have scared a few people on my way. My running isn't pretty.
I ran into the house as Trav headed out to work. "SHIT! I totally spaced Bryce's screening!" I told him as I rushed up the stairs. He rolled his eyes and told me he had already fed him breakfast. At least that was done. I hurried Bryce through getting dressed, his teeth brushed, and his hair combed. He got upset that I wouldn't let him tie his own shoes today. Sorry buddy, just didn't have the extra 20 minutes to let you go there. Threw his polar fleece jacket on him and flew out the door. We rushed across the parking lot and managed to only be 3 minutes late. WHEW!
Of course, I forgot his birth certificate. Thankfully, they don't require it for registration until the first day of school.
I got him signed in and was told to wait behind cubicle walls while they took him into the gym to make the rounds of several tables that, I assumed, were stations of knowledge testing. "Good luck, Bugs. You're a freaking genius and I know you will do great!" "thanks, mama!" And off he went. My chest tightened. He looked so grown up walking away from me, into that big gym, all by himself. But, he still looks too little to even be thinking about doing such a thing! Ugh.
Here's the thing about kindergarten screenings. The teachers (and, I will get into my feelings on teachers later) make you feel like, if the child doesn't get everything right. EVERYTHING PERFECT. they don't get to go to kindergarten. I think they forget that this is a PUBLIC SCHOOL. They don't get to "weed out" their applicants by how smart they are. They can take their power trip over that one somewhere else. (Oh, my opinions on teachers, especially the ones I have dealt with in my professional career AND the ones I have dealt with as a mother are quite interesting. But, I won't go there today. This blog is for the Love Bug.)
So, they took him away from me. Hid me behind ugly carpeted walls, and made me wait while they tortured my baby into showing off how brilliant he is.
Ok, maybe a wee bit dramatic, since Bryce LOVES to show everyone how smart he is. But, I am his mama. And I am still in disbelief he is at this stage in life already.
The testing took about 45 minutes. He was supposed to sit quietly at the coloring table while they called me over for an "exit interview". Instead, he came bouncing . . . yes, bouncing, into the parent harem to show me the picture he colored and announce to the world how smart he was and to get his backpack, he was ready to start kindergarten. I told him to hold his reigns and to let me talk to the teacher first. He insisted on coming with me. The teacher, in her ever power tripping mode, disapproved and shook her head at me. I smiled sweetly, took Bryce's hand and walked over to the table and sat down. Raised eyebrows on display, she followed and sat down, as well. Don't play power games with me. You will lose.
So, the interview began. Rather than get all worked up again, as I was this morning, let me just say that, honestly, the standards that these people are holding 4 and 5 year olds to is a bit concerning. Kindergarten is a place you go to learn to share, not pick your nose, and tie your shoes. Well, it used to be. NOW, they have to know colors, letters, sounds, numbers, and shapes. They have to spell their names and WRITE IT PERFECTLY AND LEGIBLY (meaning no extra line on the E), they have to draw the shapes PERFECTLY AND LEGIBLY (meaning no fat triangles) and write PERFECTLY AND LEGIBLY (meaning no crossing the 7) various numbers. They asked him to read sentences and stack blocks in confusing set ups. He has to color within the lines of a picture, perfectly. No accidental strokes out side of the line. If there are accidental strokes (like, 4), they don't get the points.
Honestly, I don't think I would have passed the test.
But, Bryce did awesome. He scored 86 out of 100 (even though I argued on several of the issues. But, again, power and control issues). In MY opinion, he would have gotten 100. After all, he IS a freaking genius.
In the end, she let him pick out a book to take home, get a sticker, and told him he would be in the afternoon class next year. I just hope it isn't her class. We will probably have issues. Oh, and don't ask me her name. I don't remember it, other than "this skinny blond bitch picking on my baby".
All in all, it was an . . .um, interesting experience. I don't recommend it. It's not fun having your offspring be judged and sentenced after a mere 45 minutes of discussion. It's not fun staring down an idiot who had a horrendous childhood and is now taking it out on other children by throwing her skinny ass weight all over a gym. It isn't fun explaining how ludicrous her expectations of a newly turned 5 year old are. It is definitely not fun watching her eye twitch as she tried to explain to me that she was "trained" to do the exam and she knew how to score each section. (ok, maybe that was fun, because the eye twitch meant I was giving her the heartburn she was giving me. And well, that IS fun sometimes, if you're being honest with yourself.) Luckily HE didn't understand what was happening. He just knew that, at the end of it all, the teacher told him he gets to go to kindergarten. And he is STOKED! His backpack is packed and ready. He has plans for his classroom, his teacher, and the new friends he will make. Too bad he still has another 6 months to go.
THANK GOD he has another 6 months to go!
Since I am having this much trouble with it now, I can only imagine what I will be like this Fall. I can ONLY imagine it. Actually thinking about it makes me want to vomit. He can't be so grown up already!
Of course, on Monday, he thought he could just go right into kindergarten. Once I explained that, even though he IS five now, he had to wait until the Fall to go, he was pretty disheartened. I lifted his spirits by promising him a visit to the school this week, knowing I had his kindergarten screening scheduled for today. He was excited all week.
Of course, this morning had to be the morning we woke up late. So, as I rushed to get Brady fed, dressed and ready for school while throwing on my own clothes and rushing out of the door to get him to school on time, I COMPLETELY spaced the screening this morning. It dawned on me as I was walking back home that I had to be back at the school in 10 minutes with Bryce. I started running. I think I may have scared a few people on my way. My running isn't pretty.
I ran into the house as Trav headed out to work. "SHIT! I totally spaced Bryce's screening!" I told him as I rushed up the stairs. He rolled his eyes and told me he had already fed him breakfast. At least that was done. I hurried Bryce through getting dressed, his teeth brushed, and his hair combed. He got upset that I wouldn't let him tie his own shoes today. Sorry buddy, just didn't have the extra 20 minutes to let you go there. Threw his polar fleece jacket on him and flew out the door. We rushed across the parking lot and managed to only be 3 minutes late. WHEW!
Of course, I forgot his birth certificate. Thankfully, they don't require it for registration until the first day of school.
I got him signed in and was told to wait behind cubicle walls while they took him into the gym to make the rounds of several tables that, I assumed, were stations of knowledge testing. "Good luck, Bugs. You're a freaking genius and I know you will do great!" "thanks, mama!" And off he went. My chest tightened. He looked so grown up walking away from me, into that big gym, all by himself. But, he still looks too little to even be thinking about doing such a thing! Ugh.
Here's the thing about kindergarten screenings. The teachers (and, I will get into my feelings on teachers later) make you feel like, if the child doesn't get everything right. EVERYTHING PERFECT. they don't get to go to kindergarten. I think they forget that this is a PUBLIC SCHOOL. They don't get to "weed out" their applicants by how smart they are. They can take their power trip over that one somewhere else. (Oh, my opinions on teachers, especially the ones I have dealt with in my professional career AND the ones I have dealt with as a mother are quite interesting. But, I won't go there today. This blog is for the Love Bug.)
So, they took him away from me. Hid me behind ugly carpeted walls, and made me wait while they tortured my baby into showing off how brilliant he is.
Ok, maybe a wee bit dramatic, since Bryce LOVES to show everyone how smart he is. But, I am his mama. And I am still in disbelief he is at this stage in life already.
The testing took about 45 minutes. He was supposed to sit quietly at the coloring table while they called me over for an "exit interview". Instead, he came bouncing . . . yes, bouncing, into the parent harem to show me the picture he colored and announce to the world how smart he was and to get his backpack, he was ready to start kindergarten. I told him to hold his reigns and to let me talk to the teacher first. He insisted on coming with me. The teacher, in her ever power tripping mode, disapproved and shook her head at me. I smiled sweetly, took Bryce's hand and walked over to the table and sat down. Raised eyebrows on display, she followed and sat down, as well. Don't play power games with me. You will lose.
So, the interview began. Rather than get all worked up again, as I was this morning, let me just say that, honestly, the standards that these people are holding 4 and 5 year olds to is a bit concerning. Kindergarten is a place you go to learn to share, not pick your nose, and tie your shoes. Well, it used to be. NOW, they have to know colors, letters, sounds, numbers, and shapes. They have to spell their names and WRITE IT PERFECTLY AND LEGIBLY (meaning no extra line on the E), they have to draw the shapes PERFECTLY AND LEGIBLY (meaning no fat triangles) and write PERFECTLY AND LEGIBLY (meaning no crossing the 7) various numbers. They asked him to read sentences and stack blocks in confusing set ups. He has to color within the lines of a picture, perfectly. No accidental strokes out side of the line. If there are accidental strokes (like, 4), they don't get the points.
Honestly, I don't think I would have passed the test.
But, Bryce did awesome. He scored 86 out of 100 (even though I argued on several of the issues. But, again, power and control issues). In MY opinion, he would have gotten 100. After all, he IS a freaking genius.
In the end, she let him pick out a book to take home, get a sticker, and told him he would be in the afternoon class next year. I just hope it isn't her class. We will probably have issues. Oh, and don't ask me her name. I don't remember it, other than "this skinny blond bitch picking on my baby".
All in all, it was an . . .um, interesting experience. I don't recommend it. It's not fun having your offspring be judged and sentenced after a mere 45 minutes of discussion. It's not fun staring down an idiot who had a horrendous childhood and is now taking it out on other children by throwing her skinny ass weight all over a gym. It isn't fun explaining how ludicrous her expectations of a newly turned 5 year old are. It is definitely not fun watching her eye twitch as she tried to explain to me that she was "trained" to do the exam and she knew how to score each section. (ok, maybe that was fun, because the eye twitch meant I was giving her the heartburn she was giving me. And well, that IS fun sometimes, if you're being honest with yourself.) Luckily HE didn't understand what was happening. He just knew that, at the end of it all, the teacher told him he gets to go to kindergarten. And he is STOKED! His backpack is packed and ready. He has plans for his classroom, his teacher, and the new friends he will make. Too bad he still has another 6 months to go.
THANK GOD he has another 6 months to go!
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Our little ones will be in kindergarten, already?! Glad it went well.
ReplyDeleteOMG Kama! I am so glad I didn't have to deal with this with Jacob. He was on a waiting list to get into Pre-K and got in, no screening necessary. Then he went into Kindergarten, no questions asked. I am so afraid that I will have to deal with this with Kadie in two years. If we get this house we are looking at they have a screening for a preschool program and Adam would be eligible for it too... that is if they pick them, I guess. It sounds so ridiculous to be basing this on some point system... I don't think I could have contained myself as well as you seemed to. Good luck mama!
ReplyDeleteHere is the retarded part of it all. Even though they require this screening, they can't do anything WITH it! Sure, they can suggest Junior Kindergarten, but I can refuse (and I would. He is SO ready fo rschool!). He turns 5, he gets to go to school. It is a public school. They don't get to choose him. We live in their district. He gets to go. The school is full of fucktards like this and it pisses me off. It is going to be interesting when they actually start going.
ReplyDelete