Giving love a bad name

This is Jasmine:

She is my first baby. She is also my only girl. We have a lot in common, her and I. Not only are we seriously outnumbered by penis in this house, but we like to chill out on the couch and stare into space for as long as those with a penis will let us. We also enjoy having a special power over all these boys. After all, they may get to pee standing up, but it takes special equipment to outwit and outsmart them. (I am talking about brains, people! If you were thinking something else, you probably have a penis). Well, in MY case I am talking about brains. Back to Jasmine.


She is like her mama and enjoys her special attention. Especially THAT kind of attention from her male counter part. Unlike her mama who prefers darkness and closed doors, she could care less where it happens. And, she is not afraid to initiate it, either. No matter WHO is looking. For shame, girl!


So, last night, the 6 of us were enjoying the special quietness that happens after the dinner dishes have been done and the boys have been bathed and are ready for bed. Stories were read, milk was handed out, and Diego was in the DVD player. It was awesome. It was quiet. And, I was able to randomly stare into space for more than a few moments.


Until Jas got a wild hair up her butt and felt this was prime time to start running around in maniacal circles trying to capture her ever escaping tail. I am not sure if she thinks it is going to just up and run off on her or what, but she was determined to show it who's boss. This lead to some curiosity from Broadie, our Boxer. Aint he cute? Dumb as a brick, but cute all the same (pardon the blue picture. I need to fix that):

Anyway, apparently, Jas got tired of figuring out how that tail of hers was going to be taught its lesson and chose to show BROADIE who the boss was. Poor Bobo. Never saw it coming. The boys, who had pretty much been ignoring her comical display in the hopes that the Diego show had somehow changed significantly from the 739 other times they had seen it, chose this moment to pay attention to the dogs and their, errrr, display of affection?




Bryce: Awww! Mommy, look!


Me: Jas, knock that off you lil hussy.


Bryce: She just loves her Bobo so much, she just hasta give him hugs all da time, huh, Mama?


Me: yep, she likes to give hugs.


Bryce: C'mere, Jassy. Come give me a hug.


Me: Bryce, don't let her hug you. Just give her a hug yourself and leave it at that.


Bryce: No, I want her to hug me. I know she loves me, too.


Me; Fine, but you deal with the teasing from your father (who is a mess of silent giggles next to me). No, just hug her. Actually, Jas, go downstairs. Boys, bedtime!


At this point, I was completely flabbergasted. How do you explain to your 4 year old that, no matter how much he loves her, he really does NOT want to be humped by the dog?